MomPros… more than just about the Doing.

You may not know that I practice as a MomPro myself.  In one of my service appointments, our mom client was interested in help with a family meal prep and taking care of household items while her kids were at school.  Great, I thought!  I love being a busy bee.

Armed with a HelloFresh meal kit I showed up at Alice’s (name changed for privacy) door.  Alice had mentioned before the appointment she was going through a significant health struggle, so as a nurse it was important to me to take this particular job.  After a handshake and a brief introduction I got to my MomPro work that I’ve perfected over, I don’t know, the past 10 years!  As I was meal prepping and tidying, Alice and I were chit chatting.  I thought the most important thing I could do was be busy and by caring for her home and getting a meal ready I was caring for her.  But I nearly missed the whole point and purpose of MomPro work until Alice pointed to the couch and just asked me to sit for a while.

I put down the broom and listened to Alice describe her health struggles, the current stages and needs of her kids, and even some of her fears, concerns, and recent joys in the context of living with this health condition.  We even shed a few tears together. 

Alice taught me to just BE a MomPro. And my goodness, was it rewarding.

She reminded me that sometimes a supportive, listening presence is the most important thing moms and families can receive.  Alice encouraged me to share our co-learnings with our MomPro community and I found other parents wanting and experiencing something similar from our service.  And thus, the 3rd service arm of MomPros was born.

MomPros provide household task help, childcare, and a supportive presence all at once.  

Alice made me remember how fulfilling the caring profession can be when we have the capacity and time to really stop and be present.  We know all too well how this capacity has been whittled away in hospitals and formal care settings which in turn relates to caregiver burnout.  

In the home environment, MomPros possess the distinct agency to show and give real care – a kind of care that doesn’t deplete but one that transforms and nourishes both sides. 

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Viktor Frankl once stayed up all night listening to and counseling a woman who was contemplating suicide.  When she did not go through with the act and sought help after, Frankl asked her what piece of advice may have helped her.  She said it wasn’t any of the advice or strategies he offered, but the mere act of his listening, being near, and in the moment with her was what saved her.  

In our chatty, noisy world, and in my chatty, noisy mind, I try to remind myself of this story often. 

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In a recent (2023), sweeping report on the epidemic of loneliness Vivek Murthy highlights how detrimental loneliness is to our mental and physical health.  I hypothesize that when caregivers lack the capacity to provide the caring presence they so crave with their patients, clients, and loved ones, it breeds disconnection and loneliness even within the presence of another. 

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Being present is a radical, sometimes terrifying act. Many times, it is easier to be busy, but to get quiet and sometimes deeply enter the worlds of those around us is one of the best ways we can care for ourselves while simultaneously caring for others.