Will Serena regret leaning in a different direction?!

Serena, I feel you!

Serena Williams, who needs no introduction, recently announced her resignation from tennis citing work/life balance issues as her driving reason.

Even for someone who has reached the pinnacle of her career, certainly with many resources and support, she said this:

“Believe me, I never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family. I don’t think it’s fair. If I were a guy, I wouldn’t be writing this because I’d be out there playing and winning while my wife was doing the physical labor of expanding our family. Maybe I’d be more of a Tom Brady if I had that opportunity.”

This is a blunt reminder that even at the top, women just can’t seem to have it all (still).  It remains categorically, overwhelmingly easier for men to achieve careers-uninterrupted versus women.

Serena’s letter reminded me of when I had finally gotten a prestigious academic position at an ivy leave school.  Coming from a humble farming community in Michigan, I felt like I had made it with a PhD and post-doc position at Brown University.  And then a nanny who was likely under the influence of a substance showed up for work one morning and spooked the heck out of me.  Who was I leaving my son with (my first born) and could I really trust anyone except myself?

The truth is, as Serena alluded, I wanted to spend more time with my little guy… to have lazy slow days and endless naps together.  I didn’t realize the financial and career impacts of this at the time, but boy did I learn.  It was a big, humbling tumble from the ivy leave mountain top – one in which I haven’t recovered from professionally 6 years later.

The answer for me obviously hasn’t been to “lean in” to my work, or even fully “lean out.”  I’ve leaned somewhere else entirely… into the entrepreneurship space.  My goal for over the past year has been to get parents and in-home caregivers on the same page so that both sides can get on the same page quickly and safely. 

I’ve been able to work on my online course, and new opportunities to bring parents together with the in-home care providers they need, flexibly and at my own pace.  I recognize being able to make this choice comes with enormous privilege. 

Although my entrepreneurship endeavors have been stimulating and interesting, I can’t help but think Serena Williams will need to learn to live with the nagging sense that I do:  that big “what if” my career wasn’t derailed.  What if I could have essentially lived like the vast majority of guy parents do… in pursuit of their careers largely without pause or interruption?!