A scary thing for a parent...

Hoping you all made it through Halloween with minimal sugar highs and maximal sleep.  And if you didn't, oh well!  There's always another opportunity to try things again! 

Spooky stuff got me thinking about scary things for parents.

There are SO many fears along the parenting journey.  I'll say right away I feel super fortunate that I don't have ***too*** many genuinely scary parenting moments to recall.  One of those did happen when working with one particularly nanny (which I describe in my workshop).  And, being the chief parenting officer with two very small kids day in and day out, did feel sort of scary on the regular. 

Unfortunately my husband didn't have a paternity leave and had to head back to work a mere day or two after my second was born.  I remember thinking "how will I get through this day and all these days with a rambunctious 3 year old, a newborn, and a senior dog with many extra needs?"  

A seasoned mom came over and heard some of these fears and said, "You know Sarah, sometimes it's not one day at a time, it's one moment at a time."  Thinking about just getting to the next moment, and the one after that, made things seem so much less scary.

You know what else made things feel less fearful?  If you've followed me for a while, you know it's having a cued up rolodex of great in-home caregivers who can be supportive.  I didn't quite have the fit with family as being a source of consistent support so I sort of threw up my hands and said "I'd better figure this babysitter / nanny thing out!"

Learning how to trust someone, not just the first time, but almost every time, never stopped to trigger my nerves.  I walk parents through some of the key steps to trust in my FREE WORKSHOP .  One of the BIGGEST trust gaining factors was just staying home, with the new nanny/babysitter on duty, at least a few times to just make sure it was a fit (please note working interviews/trials are always paid time for the in-home caregiver).  Just taking the time to hang around, listen with an ear open, hear my kids often playing and happy was a great way to realize other folks, even if they are strangers at first, can be huge sources of support and well-being for the whole family.

Calling references, asking specific questions, the 1:1 interview, background checks, and having a friend/school/neighbor referral, are all great sources of building trust.  And know what else is a great source of trust?  Your gut.  If something feels off with a particular caregiver, always err on the side of caution and listen to your gut. 

As a culture, I think we've underestimated the power of our parental instincts and intuition yet it's always available to us... perhaps particularly in seemingly scary situations to guide us one way or another.