What does a helpful village REALLY look like?

Much has been said about “moms not having a village anymore.”  I’ve contributed to this conversation by suggesting that moms in previous generations have had it better than us because they had aunts and uncles next door to swoop in and hold the baby, help in the home, etc.  However, I have experienced this style of village support for a short time and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  I've said before, working with family to provide childcare can be more of a challenge than expected.  Even when family members have raised children, we live in different times.  Specifically, we live in a time when moms are stepping up to set the standards and tone for their own homes, bodies, and babies.  It might be a good thing that “village” doesn’t just pop in anymore… but it doesn’t mean moms need assistance any less.

The best village-style support I have had is when a great in-home child caregiver can just kind of swoop in, survey the scene, and stop some of the holes of the ship that have sprung water!  Maybe I’ve been with the baby alone for 4 days in a row and I can feel that relief and comfort of simply “handing the baby off” for a few hours.  Or maybe it is some assistance with the kids’ laundry or bottle cleaning.  Perhaps if it’s in the parent-caregiver contract, a kitchen floor is swept and dishes are put in the dishwasher.  Sometimes you can find a caregiver match and all that happens almost effortlessly, without drama, or on the regular.  However, finding this kind of support all too often feels like finding a needle in a haystack.  Babysitters and nannies all seem to practice in different types of ways with myriad boundaries and standards.  Hopefully in the screening process parents can articulate their needs and look for a sound nanny match, but we are often trying to find this golden provider in what does feel like a wild wild west.  I know that nannies often feel this vice versa as well.  It’s not always easy to find a great family to work with!

My online course brings parents and nannies on the same page, in the same ballpark, and on the same team in a swift, simple way.  I keep thinking about how to make this aspect of the village stronger and so glad you are here to think that through (and act!) with me too.

What does a truly supportive village look like to you?