Why is Sarah the Parent Teaching this Nanny Search and Hire Stuff?!

For the past 7+ years I have worked with in-home caregivers in various capacities.  My own caregiving crisis (quick nanny turn over, not being able to find a nanny, not knowing then when I know now about the nanny search + hire process) became the first thread in which my academic career began to unravel a few years back.  I was the primary parent, or as Eve Rodsky says the “SheFault Parent,” responsible for the lion’s share of the domestic duties.  When I couldn’t quite make our childcare set-up work in a way that made sense (financially and otherwise) for our family, I was thankful to be able to take a career pause.  It didn’t take long for me to start noodling around with the idea that if parents could just work with someone else, similar to them, to be that extra pair of hands, eyes, and heart in the home we could solve so many domestic life problems – right?  I had thought of all the unsuccessful on-line, in-home caregiver searches fellow parents had told me about.  It seemed like the way we were searching for and onboarding those who become responsible for our most precious gifts (our kids!) was all off - clunky and ineffective.  Essentially, we were craigslisting our childcare!  And in many ways we still do. 

In response to this massive problem I see unfolding between parents and in-home caregivers online, nearly almost every day, I created a little prototype of an online course to show parents, and nannies who may be greener to the field, some of the key steps that I observed and experienced to be missing.  Simultaneously, I took a deeper dive into the professional nanny industry and came to know several leaders who I hired for paid consulting hours to review my course.  It had become clear that nanny industry materials were somehow not trickling down to the masses of parents and nannies searching for eachother online.  In the end, in an attempt to better reach those masses, the Same Team Online course has become a true collaboration between a parent desperate to meet her own needs (and the needs of fellow parents), and key nanny industry leaders who helped to edit, shape, and support the course material.

All seems crystal clear right?  Not exactly.  I’ve learned that it is not exactly common for a parent to stumble over into the professional nanny industry to poke around and try to figure things out (unless he or she is actively searching for a nanny or working with an agency!).  The overwhelming majority of parents searching for in-home caregivers have never heard the terms “guaranteed hours” or “nanny industry standards.”  These are critical pieces of knowledge that often intersect with domestic labor laws.  However, the fact remains that the overwhelming majority of parents (and sometimes nannies) may not even know or include these key, important pieces in their contracts or work agreements.  Overall, there are very basic building blocks missing from the overall parent-nanny picture, the vast majority of the time, unless you work with a nanny agency or hire a nanny consultant to walk you through the process.  Although I ended up having most of these bases covered throughout my years in working with nannies and babysitters, I had no systematic, swift, and simple guide to make sure everything was on target.  My goal now is to make sure other parents do not fumble through the dark like I did for so many years in searching for and working with nannies and babysitters in the most successful, productive way possible.

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As I dove deeper into nanny industry to develop the Same Team Online Course (the only course I know of to get BOTH nannies and parents on the same page), and worked through admittedly some of my own blindspots as a parent, I realized quickly that my Same Team project would not be for everyone. Despite the course being heavily vetted by a cadre of nanny industry leaders, influencers, and many nannies working in the field, some folks just aren’t going to love it.  Or even like it.  Now look, I have had my research grants and studies chewed apart by top tier journal reviewers and NIH committees, but there is something unique about the few stings of professional nannies who occasionally express disdain over the parent-generated Same Team project.  I too have thought a lot about the question: “who am I to be teaching this stuff?!” and I seem to circle back to one conclusion. If a relatively educated person, who has worked with nannies for 7+ years, and worked with numerous nanny industry consultants for a year cannot grasp and impart the nanny-parent basics, how will the average parent on a carefinder site ever be able to do it?  

In the end of my nanny-parent explorations to build the online course, I realized there was a big gap between the fine-tuned set of knowledge that often those embedded into the nanny industry hold and what the average parent, or sometimes even that newer nanny, may know about the nanny industry.  My hunch was, and is, that somehow parents are not able to access the information and action steps they need in a simple, digestible way.  Clearly, it took me a year (if not years prior) to work so many kinks out in building my course!  Most parents won’t have a year to call several nanny experts (who actually have different perspectives as well), join the International Nanny Association, sift through the endless and sometimes piece-meal  information online, or talk to numerous nanny agency experts to put it all together.  In short, I wanted to do that work for other parents and deliver them the most important gems.

I had not found an online course on the topic of getting nannies and parents on the same page - especially one where one parent who had done her homework and could impart (hopefully) the most important things in an accessible way.  So, I took this leap, and although the Same Team framework has been well received by the vast majority of nannies and parents I have come across, there are a few who hold issue with the instructor (heh hem me being a parent and not a seasoned veteran of the nanny industry) and the approach that covers mainly the basic, first right steps that the overwhelming majority of people on searching on carefinder sites do not know. 

One of my favorite mentors (well my favorite online course mentor) Jacques Hopkins has dealt with a similar phenomenon through his wildly successful Piano in 21 Days  course. Jacques guides beginners into the world of piano with a simple, chord based approach in contrast to more complicated, time consuming classical piano lessons.  Students who might not have otherwise touched a piano key, are graciously invited into this world by Jacques – someone who struggled just like them, someone who knows how good and enjoyable playing the piano feels, and someone who cares. Every so often, Jacques gets a heated message from a seasoned, usually classical pianist or piano teacher about how his simpler method is an insult to the traditional, established world of piano.  These people insinuate that only traditional, established piano teachers should be teaching piano. Clearly, his method is not for them.  And that’s ok!  My point is, thousands have been brought over the bridge of fear and lack of confidence into the piano world by Jacques.  His method has had an enormously positive impact on the lives of his students (just check out his testimonials!).  Every time (and it’s not often) I get a message about how I have no business helping other parents work with nannies the right way, I think about the impact Jacques has made through his new, inviting approach.  Similarly, I wonder, would we rather have parents remain completely in the dark about nanny industry culture and trends?  Or can we invite them in through an accessible, parent-to-parent way as one method (among other good methods!) of getting started?    

I see my expertise as reaching out to parents as a parent who has been there, in the thick of it and stressed out, and showing them a way to get the relief they are searching for.  So many parents have talked to me about their own guilt in even working with a nanny or a babysitter even just 4-6 hours a week to get that moment’s breath.  So many parents want to hear from another parent who has made the reference calls and learned from nanny industry experts on how they might trust their gut, take on the new role as nanny employer, or even spot a fake reference! 

In the first few moments of my free workshop (Same Team Free Workshop) I mention who the Same Team Framework might not be for.  For a seasoned, career/professional nanny, much of the Same Team info and action steps are probably not going to be new. In addition, a seasoned nanny will likely have a good sense of her Nanny Practice and know how to quickly identify the right family matches.  So, if this is you, and a more simple, swifter approach to educating parents isn’t your preference, the Same Team course and community might not be for you!   And that’s ok!  However, the bulk of parents (and even perhaps nannies) still won’t have this knowledge.  In many ways the Same Team course can do nothing but help the parent cue up to work with any nanny, regardless of the level of nanny they may work with.  And, I’m well aware I I haven’t written the nanny-parent bible here, but I do know industry consultants like Lora Brawley (a reviewer of my course!) and have made many referrals to these experts when highly nuanced questions come my way.    

The lengthy manuals on how to work with a nanny and nanny agency consultations are remarkable resources!  For whatever reason though, nanny industry knowledge and standards haven’t quite trickled down to the masses.  What if we packaged the basics up in a way that resonates with parents, their needs, and pain points? And when they say something clueless and silly on the message boards (mostly because they are not plugged into the professional nanny world) maybe we pause and first recognize that truly only a small percent of parents and nannies actually know the right steps to take and boundaries to establish.  And then we educate, together.  

I got interested in this parent-nanny space because when a nanny-parent work relationship goes RIGHT, I know first hand the way I can thrive, and my whole family can thrive, in so many ways.  I want parents to be able to work with in-home caregivers if it fits into their budget (even 4-6 hours a week!) to get that relief I know ALL parents are desperate for (especially now).  So, why not be open to the idea that a parent who has made a huge investment in researching the nanny industry is able to help other parents to take the first, right steps!? 

In sum, parents ARE learning the right nanny search, hire, and onboarding steps through the Same Team framework (and nannies!).  Check out our testimonials tab to see the impact Same Team is making (Same Team Course Testimonials)

Wouldn’t it be dreamy if ALL the folks, parents, and nannies, searching on the carefinder sites knew all the right steps to take to achieve win-wins for all in the in-home caregiving picture?!  Until that is accomplished, we need an all hands on deck approach… professional nanny resources indeed, nannies of all levels (entry-career-professional), and yes, parents too.